Moments of Grace

Janae Hofer

Description

This memoir shares a vulnerable story of God’s grace even in life’s darkest moments as the author tries to live fully with cerebral palsy.
Praise for Moments of Grace
“The Bible tells us that ‘the testing of [our] faith produces perseverance’ (James 1:2-4). You won’t find many people who demonstrate perseverance the way Janae Hofer does. Her story is inspiring, humbling, and at times gut-wrenching—but it will give you insight into the mind and heart of an amazing young woman.”
—Jim Daly, President, Focus on the Family
Unaware of her hidden turmoil, many are impressed with Janae Hofer’s unrelenting drive to open her own law practice despite needing assistance with every physical task because of cerebral palsy—a disability hindering her every movement. But her life is more than physical struggles. It’s also joy and sorrow, laughter and pain, victory, and defeat.
In Moments of Grace, Hofer narrates her story, through her human lens, calibrated to God’s grace. This reflective focus reveals glimpses of the golden thread in all of life’s moments. She tells how God provided her with a loving Christian family and carefully cultivated friendships. Preserving her life despite suicide attempts, God granted her strength to persevere when continual underestimation by colleagues and bosses built a steel coffin around her.
This memoir shares the contrast between Hofer’s hopeless feelings at different moments and her grateful perspective as she now looks back. Through her story, she encourages you to use the recalibration questions to make your perspective on your own life one of gratitude and humility. She prays this book will be one tool God uses to point you toward a deeper understanding of his unfailing grace in every moment—past, present, and future.

Sujets

• Christian Living
• Inspirational
• Philosophie et théologie
• God
• Illness
• Disability
• Religion
• Grace
• Trauma

Informations

• Publié par: WestBow Press
• Date de parution: 19 juillet 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781664270022
• Langue: English

Extrait

MOMENTS of GRACE
 
Faithfulness When Life Hurts
 
 
 
JANAE HOFER
 
 
 

 
Copyright © 2022 Janae Hofer.
 
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
 
This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.
 
WestBow Press
A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan
1663 Liberty Drive
Bloomington, IN 47403
www.westbowpress.com
844-714-3454
 
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.®
 
Interior Image Credit: Janae Hofer
 
ISBN: 978-1-6642-7003-9 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-6642-7004-6 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-6642-7002-2 (e)
 
Library of Congress Control Number: 2022911573
 
WestBow Press rev. date: 07/19/2022
Contents
Introduction
Part One A Day In The Life
Part Two Relationships
Part Three Educational Endeavors
Part Four Internal Struggles
To my parents and grandparents, who taught me the true meaning of grace.
Introduction
Life is made up of moments—significant and insignificant. These ever-passing moments make up who we are and who we become. Some are blissful, and we wish to stay in their glow forever. Some are painful, and we attempt to dim them from our consciences, only to see the unwelcome flashbacks in dreams. Some are mundane and seemingly inconsequential.
Whether or not we recognize it, these are all moments of grace from our sovereign God. Even if His unfailing compassionate love is not seen by our weary eyes, His grace is ever-present. In 2 Corinthians 12:9, God promises that His grace is sufficient for us. His endless grace is not sufficient only sometimes—it is sufficient all of the time. It is sufficient in moments of joy and sorrow. It is sufficient in moments of unbelievable excitement and mind-numbing boredom. It is even sufficient in the face of loss and confusion.
My life—uniquely marked with physical brokenness—is no exception to this grace. Indeed, my life is woven by the same golden thread that weaves others’ lives. This golden thread runs through every moment, steadying in upheaval, guiding in uncertainty, and shining bright in success. This golden thread is God’s grace, always present, even when temporarily hidden by the fog of this fallen world.
This book is my story told through my human lens, admittedly cracked, calibrated to God’s grace. Although we will not have a full view of God’s grace until the longed-for day of eternity, you and I can decisively reflect on the grace God generously gives.
This reflective focus will reveal glimpses of the golden thread in all of life’s moments. Understanding these glimpses of grace allows us to express our stories with humility and gratitude. Humility recognizes that our successes are only by His grace. Inversely, humility also allows us to express who we truly are without belittling ourselves, even in the midst of failures. Understanding grace also leads to natural expressions of gratitude for how God’s grace has preserved, comforted, and guided us.
As the pages of my story reveal, true humility and gratitude can’t be generated with disingenuous outward platitudes. Many times, I have been composed on the outside, while inwardly cursing the life that I saw as ruined by the carnage of disability-related hardships. I felt like a burden and hindrance to my family. I struggled to identify genuine friendships. I sometimes angrily fought through the elementary, secondary, postsecondary, and legal education systems, which are understandably inherently averse to individuals with severe physical disabilities. I chafed at my limited career options while simultaneously bemoaning the intelligence that obligated me to strive for gainful employment. I fumed as I began spending thousands of dollars on medical expenses each year, realizing that, even as an associate attorney at a large private law firm, I would be in a better financial position if I remained on disability assistance. Moreover, I angrily longed to escape from the harsh corporate legal world into a more caring and nurturing profession such teaching or nursing, questioning why God gave me a tender, feminine spirit and yet still expected me to work in a “man’s world.” Most personally, I cringed at trying to find true love in the face of my physical baggage.
I could reiterate all the Christianese sayings:
• “God has a plan.”
• “God is a loving and good God.”
• “God is gracious and always provides.”
• “I couldn’t have done this without God.”
But until I honestly faced my disappointments with God, doubts about His gracious love, and self-reliant pride in my accomplishments, I couldn’t continually abide in His unwavering peace with my past, present, and future circumstances.
It was then that I confronted my disappointments, doubts, and pride, not only by acknowledging their existence but also by moving forward to a place of understanding. One way of gaining understanding is by analyzing life with what I call recalibration questions:
• How do I see God working out His plan in my life?
• Where in my life have I seen God’s love and goodness even in the midst of hardships?
• How has He provided for me physically, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, and financially?
• Do I really attribute my successes to God, or do I secretly attribute the credit to my hardworking stamina?
• Where would I be without Him?
These are the soul-searching questions that I pondered for years prior to writing this book. Pondering these questions in contrast to only dwelling on the “why-would-God” or “how-could-God” questions has led me from a place of suicidal depression and prideful anger to a place of gratitude and humility. I couldn’t help but arrive at this place in light of identifying the golden thread of God’s grace weaving through even the most painful and unpleasant moments of my life.
My parents often said that life is “90 percent attitude and 10 percent circumstance.” The unspoken truth behind this pithy statement is that gaining the correct perspective is key to a positive attitude. Instead of forcing ourselves to have a positive attitude about broken moments by solely accepting the pain, look beyond the pain to the accompanying graciously provided beauty and light. A positive, grateful attitude will likely naturally follow.
As you read my story, you will often see the contrast between my hopeless feelings at different moments and my grateful perspective as I look back now. I encourage you to use recalibration questions to make your perspective on your own life one of gratitude and humility. My prayer is that this book will be one tool God uses to point you toward a deeper understanding of His unfailing grace in every moment—past, present, and future.
Part One A DAY IN THE LIFE
Co ping
Twenty-one minutes. The difference between a “normal” life and my life. I have agonized over these minutes many times.
Consistent interest from outside onlookers in how I overcome cerebral palsy to live a full life has always made me wonder if one day I would publish my story. However, the “when” was unclear. The first time I seriously considered myself emotionally and spiritually ready to write my life story without burden-minimizing platitudes was when I wrote this Facebook post on November 14, 2019:
Yesterday I had to pay yet another unexpected disability-related expense. As I lay in bed, it didn’t take long for my thoughts to spiral down: This isn’t fair. Why would God give me this good - f or -n othing disability? Because of it, I have tens of thousands of dollars in medical expenses each year. I can’t work full time. My neck and back hurt all the time. I can’t play with my nieces and nephews the way I want. I can’t make necessary calls to unfamiliar people on my own. I can’t quickly grab my puppy and take her to the bathroom … And the pity party went on for a few minutes of negative thoughts in rapid succession.
Then I thought, Okay, Janae, you need to stop it. You know these thoughts don’t help. A prayer that Mom’s family would sing before meals came to mind: “God is great, and God is good. And we thank Him for our food. By His hands, we all are fed. Give us Lord, our daily bread. Give us, Lord, our daily bread.” I was convicted to be thankful to God for His provisions today . He doesn’t need to give me provisions for tomorrow, because it’s not here yet. Today I’m thankful that God provided enough to pay the expense; a job that keeps me off government assistance despite not working