Honestly Adoption

Mike Berry, Kristin Berry

Description

Discover What Adoption and Foster CareReally Look Like If you are considering adoption or foster care or are already somewhere in this difficult and complicated process, you need trusted information from people who have been where you are. Mike and Kristin Berry have adopted eight children and cared for another 23 kids in their nine-year stint as foster parents. They aren't just experts. They have experienced every emotional high and low and encountered virtually every situation imaginable as parents. Now, they want to share what they've learned with you. Get the answers you need to the following questions, and many more: Should I foster parent or adopt? How do I know? What is the first step in becoming an adoptive or foster parent? What are the benefits of an open versus closed adoption? How and when do I tell my child that he or she is adopted? How do I help my child embrace his or her cultural and racial identity? Honestly Adoption will provide you with practical, down-to-earth advice to make good decisions in your own adoption and foster parenting journey and give you the help and hope you need.

Sujets

• Adoption

Informations

• Publié par: Harvest House Publishers
• Date de parution: 06 août 2019
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9780736976800
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Endorsements
Honestly Adoption is like a conversation with an old friend. Mike and Kristin Berry candidly answer your most pressing questions, sharing what they have learned along the way. It s a must-read for anyone on the journey of adoption and foster care as well as those considering it.
-Joshua N. Hook, PhD, coauthor of Replanted: Faith-Based Support for Adoptive and Foster Families
What an incredibly comprehensive book Mike and Kristin Berry have written for adoptive and foster parents! I love it. Filled with a plethora of questions, this user-friendly book is like a manual that every parent would welcome and use periodically over the years as questions arise. Give parents time with this book, and you ll see many dog-eared pages! It will be a favorite!
-Sherrie Eldridge, author of Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
This amazing book is a treasure trove of wisdom in bite-size nuggets that will help us all understand the good, bad, and ugly of foster care and adoption, as well as how we can love everyone around us and ourselves better. Thank you, Kristin and Michael (and all the adoptees) for answering real questions with intentionality, honesty, vulnerability, transparency, humility, and a whole lot of love, and for clearly providing guidance for our parenting, marriages, foster/adoption support, and self-care.
-Philip Darke, host of the Think Orphan podcast and author of In Pursuit of Orphan Excellence
The conversation of foster care and adoption requires excruciating honesty. Honesty that starts from a desire to see others succeed. Honesty that challenges us to be our best selves, especially in our hardest moments. Honesty that refreshes us with the simple notion that we are not alone. I adore Mike and Kristin, and I am so glad they sat with the hard questions, challenged optimistic expectations, encouraged courageous families, and gave dignity to the stories of the most vulnerable-our children. Honestly Adoption is a must-read regardless of where you are in the process of caring for vulnerable children. Thank you, Mike and Kristin, for your vulnerability and honesty.
-Pam Parish, author, speaker, and founder of Connections Homes
With the conversational style and candor we ve come to expect, Mike and Kristin Berry have delivered once again. With the wisdom that comes from years of lived experience, they ask all the right questions in Honestly Adoption. But they don t just ask the questions; they answer them too. Adoption and foster care should not be entered into lightly. In Honestly Adoption, Mike and Kristin provide answers to the questions that everyone should be asking.
-Ryan North, cofounder, One Big Happy Home
The dynamic Berry duo have written a wonderfully practical guide for foster and adoptive parents in Honestly Adoption. They combine head, heart, and spirit knowledge with years of experience in the parenting trenches. Whether you are a parent just considering the idea of adopting, or your toddlers won t sleep alone, or your teenagers are engaging in risky behaviors, you will find hope, encouragement, and practical wisdom in digestible bites. I frequently found myself reading a nugget of truth and thinking of a specific family in my care who could benefit from the words shared. A must-have for clinicians and parents alike.
-Paris Goodyear-Brown, MSSW, LCSW, RPT-S, founder of Nurture House, director of the TraumaPlay Institute, and author of Trauma and Play Therapy and A Safe Circle for Little U
As a foster parent of many children, I can honestly say that this is a book I needed when I first began this journey. Mike and Kristin Berry accurately and honestly cover just about every major question that new and experienced parents alike have. This is a book you must have on your shelf!
-Jamie Finn, speaker and author of Foster the Family
As an adoptee who has read a lot of content geared toward adoption, I believe this is a book for the ages. Mike and Kristin address the questions many parents have, and they capture the hearts and perspectives of adoptees as well. I highly recommend this book for families who want an accurate and in-depth perspective on the foster and adoptive journey.
-Tony Wolf, comedian, speaker, and author of Serve One
HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS
EUGENE, OREGON
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version , NIV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Cover design by Bryce Williamson
Cover photo manley099 / Getty Images
Honestly Adoption
Copyright 2019 by Mike Berry and Kristin Berry
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97408
www.harvesthousepublishers.com
ISBN 978-0-7369-7679-4 (pbk.)
ISBN 978-0-7369-7680-0 (eBook)
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Berry, Mike (Parenting blogger) author. | Berry, Kristin, author.
Title: Honestly adoption / Mike Berry and Kristin Berry.
Description: Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishers, [2019]
Identifiers: LCCN 2019000378 (print) | LCCN 2019004764 (ebook) | ISBN 9780736976800 (ebook) | ISBN 9780736976794 (pbk.)
Subjects: LCSH: Adoption. | Adoption-Religious aspects-Christianity. | Adoptive parents.
Classification: LCC HV875 (ebook) | LCC HV875 .B474 2019 (print) | DDC 362.734-dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019000378
All rights reserved. No part of this electronic publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other-without the prior written permission of the publisher. The authorized purchaser has been granted a nontransferable, nonexclusive, and noncommercial right to access and view this electronic publication, and purchaser agrees to do so only in accordance with the terms of use under which it was purchased or transmitted. Participation in or encouragement of piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of author s and publisher s rights is strictly prohibited.
CONTENTS
Endorsements
Why Honestly Adoption ?
Part 1: Adoption Conversations
1. Should I adopt?
2. Should I foster?
3. Should I foster to adopt?
4. How should I prepare to be a foster parent?
5. What difficulties should I be prepared for as a foster parent?
6. I m not called to foster or adopt, so how can I help?
7. Do children need to know they were adopted?
8. How can I tell our child he or she was adopted?
9. Sometimes I believe a false narrative about our child s adoption. What should I do?
10. How should I respond to people who praise me for adopting?
Part 2: Adoption Relationships
11. Will our child ever love me?
12. Will I ever love our child?
13. Will our child and I ever have a healthy relationship?
14. Will I be able to love our children equally?
15. How can we keep our forever children from feeling neglected?
16. How can we prepare our forever children before fostering?
17. How should we explain foster care to our forever children?
18. How can we prepare our forever children to share with foster children?
19. What should I do if my forever children are resistant to fostering?
20. What should I do if I m fostering or adopting out of birth order?
21. How will fostering change our forever kids?
22. Why is open adoption becoming more popular?
23. How should we prepare to meet our child s birth parents for the first time?
24. How can we maintain an open relationship if our child s birth parents are rarely available?
25. How can we include the birth family in a natural way?
26. What if our child idealizes his or her birth family?
27. How do we maintain a connection with the birth family even when it s difficult?
28. How can we support our child when the birth parents terminate their parental rights?
29. How can I support the first parents when they lose their parental rights?
30. What if safety is a concern?
31. What if the birth family cannot connect in a healthy way?
32. What if my adult child stops communicating with me?
33. How can we initiate a conversation with our child s school about trauma?
34. How can we identify people who are not helpful?
Part 3: Attachment Parenting
35. Why aren t traditional parenting methods working for us?
36. What are some traditional parenting methods to avoid?
37. What do kids who have experienced trauma need?
38. How can we find the right therapist for our family?
39. What should I do when our child acts out and needs discipline?
40. How can I encourage my family and close friends to support our parenting style?
41. Can we overdo therapeutic parenting?
Part 4: Empowering Children
42. Why is it important to empower our children?
43. How can I empower our children to face difficult situations?
44. How can I empower our children to process the good parts of their story?
45. How can we empower children with two families to embrace their own identity?
46. How can we teach our kids how to advocate for their own needs?
47. How can I empower our children to own their own stories?
48. How can I empower our child to have their own relationship with biological family members?
49. How can I empower our child to love and care for himself?
50. What can I do to help our child endure disappointment?
51. How can I empower our child to grieve?
52. How can I empower our child to build healthy attachments?
53. How can I empower our child to utilize resources as he or she grows older?
Part 5: Trauma
54. How will understanding our child s trauma help me as a parent?
55. What should I do if I feel afraid of our child s birth family?
56. Should I talk about our child s past trauma with them?
57. How can I help our child process the hard parts of their story?
58. What should I do if our child talks publicly about their trauma?
59