The Postpartum Partner

Karen Kleiman MSW

Description

This hands-on guide includes straightforward, supportive information and specific recommendations to help partners deal with the impact of depression after the birth of a baby.

Sujets

• Husband
• Postnatal
• Self-help
• Partner

Informations

• Publié par: Xlibris US
• Date de parution: 06 décembre 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 2
• EAN13: 9781669858386
• Langue: English

Extrait

THE POSTPARTUM PARTNER
Practical Solutions for living with Postpartum Depression
Karen Kleiman, MSW

Copyright © 2023 by Karen Kleiman, MSW.
 
Library of Congress Control Number:
2022922522
ISBN:
Softcover
978-1-6698-5848-5

eBook
978-1-6698-5838-6
 
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Rev. date: 01/25/2023
 
 
 
 
 
Xlibris
844-714-8691
www.Xlibris.com
848304
CONTENTS
Introduction
Why You Should Read This Book
IDENTIFYING THE PROBLEM
One
Understanding PPD
Two
Differentiating Between Blues And Depression
Three
Making Sense Out Of This
Four
It’s No One’s Fault
Five
Going With The Flow
Six
The Power Of Pretense
Seven
Misconceptions About Depression
Eight
Symptoms Of PPD
Nine
Ruminating
Ten
Dealing With Negative, Intrusive Thoughts
Eleven
Coping With Anxiety
Twelve
The Nature Of Depressive Thinking
Thirteen
Coping With Sleep Deprivation
Fourteen
Coming To Terms
COPING
Fifteen
What Your Partner Might Be Feeling And What You Can Do About It
Sixteen
What Works For You . . . May Not Work For Your Partner
Seventeen
You Cannot Fix This
Eighteen
Why What You Think Will Help– May Not Help
Nineteen
What To Say . . .
Twenty
What To Do . . .
Twenty-One
What Not To Say
Twenty-Two
Make Important Decisions Together
Twenty-Three
Emotional Paralysis
Twenty-Four
When To Push The Boundaries
Twenty-Five
Set Limits
Twenty-Six
Encourage, Don’t Pressure
COPING WITH SPECIFIC SITUATIONS
Twenty-Seven
Hold Steady
Twenty-Eight
Compromise
Twenty-Nine
Moving Forward
Thirty
Listen
Thirty-One
Don’t Overreact
Thirty-Two
Understanding Loss Of Confidence
WHAT YOU MIGHT BE FEELING
Thirty-Three
You Are Tired
Thirty-Four
You Are Worried
Thirty-Five
You Are Frustrated
Thirty-Six
You Are Angry
Thirty-Seven
You Are Confused
Thirty-Eight
You Are Resentful
Thirty-Nine
You Are Scared
Forty
You Are Embarrassed/Ashamed
Forty-One
You Are Feeling Misunderstood
TREATMENT OPTIONS
Forty-Two
Guidelines For Seeking Help
Forty-Three
Things You Should Know About Treatment
Forty-Four
Join The Session
Forty-Five
Impact On You As A Couple
Forty-Six
Suicidal Thoughts
Forty-Seven
Emergency Situations
MEDICATION
Forty-Eight
Understanding Medication
Forty-Nine
Options
Fifty
Nursing And Medication
Fifty-One
Living With Side-Effects
Fifty-Two
The Impact On Sexual Functioning
Fifty-Three
Course Of Treatment
SUPPORT
Fifty-Four
Why You Need Support, Too
Fifty-Five
Find The Time To Take Care Of Yourself
Fifty-Six
Give Yourself Credit
Fifty-Seven
A Word Of Caution About Comfort Measures
SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS
Fifty-Eight
Helping Your Partner Get The Help They Need
Fifty-Nine
Strategies For Intervention
Sixty
Resistance And Treatment Sabotage
Sixty-One
Decide Together What To Share With Others
Sixty-Two
Talking With Your Older Children
RECOVERY
Sixty-Three
The Long, Slow Healing Process . . .
Sixty-Four
Hanging In Through Recovery
Sixty-Five
Role-Reversal
Sixty-Six
Taking Care Of Each Other And Your Relationship
Sixty-Seven
Planning For The Future
Sixty-Eight
How Things Have Changed

To Bruce, my hero
INTRODUCTION
WHY YOU SHOULD READ THIS BOOK
You might be reading this because your partner asked you to read it. Or, you might be reading this because you’re really worried about what’s going on at home.
Or, perhaps you’re reading it. . . .
• . . . Because you ha ven’t had sex in three months and your partner doesn’t seem to be bothered at all by this.
• . . . Because your partner is tired most of the time and hasn’t been as avail- able to you as much as you’ d like and your marriage feels like it’s too much work right now.
• . . . Because you think your partner has indulged in this bad mood thing for long enough and your patience is wearing thin.
• . . . Because you feel frustrated by your partner’s constant irritability and pessimistic outlook.
• . . . Because your partner is terrified about the way they feel and is looking for a way out.
• . . . Because you ’re quite exhausted yourself, and confused about what to do to make things better for both of you.
You know things are not right at home. You’ve just had a baby. You, and everyone else, expected that life would be wonderful and full of joy. But it’s not. Whatever your reason for picking up this book, let me reassure you with one point: You may not want to read this, but it will help you confront these issues. The problems at home need to be addressed. You know it. She knows it. So, here are some facts:
• Research has shown us that perinatal depression will improve markedly with the consistent support of a significant other.
• The longer you pretend that the depression will go away by itself and deny it is really happening, the longer recovery will take.
• The higher your expectations, the greater your demands, the more difficult recovery will be.
• The harder you are on yourself, the less resources you will have to carry you through each day.
• You have much more power to affect the outcome of how you both feel than you might think you do.
• Your partner will get better. Things will settle at home, intime.
• You will have your partner and your life back. But for now, it’s important for you to take a look at some of the issues impacting your life right now.
• It’s important for both of you.
It’s important for your relationship.
IDENTIFYING THE PROBLEM
ONE
“We just had a baby and now our lives have turned upside down.”
UNDERSTANDING PPD
• Perinatal depression (PPD) affects approximately one in five of all pregnant and postpartum mothers and approximately one in ten of all fathers. (The term PPD will be used throughout the book to include all postpartum illnesses, such as postpartum obsessive-compulsive dis- order , panic disorder, generalized anxiety and depression.)
• PPD is a medical condition that can be treated successfully.
• PPD is a clinical depression that can occur any time during pregnancy and to a year (or sometimes more)postpartum.
• If your partner has been diagnosed with PPD, it’s very important for you to be informed and part of the treatment. ( If you’re not sure whether your partner has PPD , but one of you thinks something is wrong with the way they are feeling, it’s time to have a doctor or menta l health professional evaluate the situation. This book will help you understand PPD, but it does not take the place of a comprehensive evaluation and diagnosis.)
• PPD can strike without warning—in people with no history of depression or people who have had it before. It can happen to people who are highly successful in their careers or who stay home with their children. It can strike partners in stable relationships and conflictual relationships, as well as single parents, and adoptive parents. It can happen to parents who love their baby more than anything in the world. It can hap- pen after the first baby, or after the fourth.
• It can happen to people who swore it would never happen to them.
• It is not completely understood why PPD affects some and not others—why some who have many risk factors may not experience it, and others who have no risk factors may end up with a full blown episode.
• Research shows that in cisgender women the period following the birth of a baby is the life stage in which they are most at risk to experience emotional illness.
What is Depression?
• Our best explanation is that genetic, biological, psychological and environmental forces combine in such a way as to influence the development of depression. Though we may not know precisely what causes it, we do know that depression is associated with a biochemical imbalance in the brain.
• This biochemical imbalance can occur for several reasons:
* Genetic predisposition : Depression is known to run in families.
* Previous history : Previous episodes increase risk for depression.
* Physical, emotional or sexual abuse, alcoholic parent.
* Early childhood loss ; particularly death of parent.
* Life stressors: (change or loss of job, move to new home or city, recent illness (self or loved one), loss of loved one, divorce or separation (self or parents).
• Risk factors do not cause depression. They merely set the stage or create an opportunity for it.
TWO
“Everyone says this is the Baby Blues.
Is it?”
DIFFERENTIATING BETWEEN BLUES AND DEPRESSION
• Baby blues are often confused