People Change Like Seasons

Tahreem

Description

At first, I thought I finally got over all of those life chapters while writing. But somewhere inside of me I wasn’t healed from all of that at all.
I don’t feel the same anymore.
Is It because I finally realized
That
I’ve been living for others
All this time
And not for myself..?
Was I living for others and felt happy?
Did I not live for myself all this time?
It feels like a withdrawal symptom.
How long will this last?
I want to feel again…
Do I have to live for myself for that?
But no one has ever taught me how to live. How to love me. I learned how to love others.
I learned how to live with others. For others. To make them happy, made me happy.
I never learned how to live and love myself.
Is that why I’m feeling weird? Because I want to make myself happy? Is that so?
I don’t feel the same anymore
I don’t feel different either
So, what is this feeling? Is this even a feeling? I don’t even know anymore.
Is it because of the people I have lived for? For someone like me they’d choose not to die for?
Have I lost myself by gaining you?

Sujets

• Self-help
• BTS
• Inspiration
• Motivation

Informations

• Publié par: Partridge Publishing Singapore
• Date de parution: 05 mai 2023
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781543773125
• Langue: English

Extrait

PEOPLE CHANGE LIKE SEASONS
 
Trivial Yet Essential Life Chapters
 
 
 
 
 
TAHREEM
 
 
 
 

 
Copyright © 2023 by Tahreem.
 
ISBN:
Hardcover
978-1-5437-7311-8

Softcover
978-1-5437-7310-1

eBook
978-1-5437-7312-5
 
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
 
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
www.partridgepublishing.com/singapore
CONTENTS
Acknowledgement
Introduction
 
Chapter 1       The Jar And The Meeting
Chapter 2       Memories
Chapter 3       Seven Favourite Physical Features about You
Chapter 4       Quick “Remedy” to Try for When You Are Sad
Chapter 5       When Life Feels So Damn Unfair, Unalome
Chapter 6       Guess the Quote, Fill the Name
Chapter 7       A Random Link to Visit
Chapter 8       Random Fact about Me
Chapter 9       For When You’re Feeling Sad
Chapter 10     Forgot about Me?
Chapter 11     When You Are Happy, Here Is A Reason For It To Last Longer
Chapter 12     First Anniversary
 
Author Bio
Book Summary
About The Author
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
I would like to express my sincere thanks to my great friend Ali Alrathawi for such a magical book cover and beautiful artworks. Your time, dedication and talent is highly appreciated.
Thank you for making my imagination come to life in the form of your artwork.
Once again, thank you for taking the trouble to help me.
That doesn’t mean you’re getting away from my bull ying!!
INTRODUCTION
A book based on an appreciation jar given to the author by her friend to cheer her up during her hard times.
This book is dedicated to my friend Sher, the world’s biggest boyband BTS, and our strong fan base called ARMY, which stands for Adorable Representatives MC for Youth.
Little notes that turned into a book.
This book is for you, dear re ader.
A book that’s all about life and its unknown meaning and purposes, the people you have or may encounter in your life, and how will you feel about them and vice versa. This book is about me, you, and the people you may know or even about the strangers you randomly pass by.
This book may be a little friend to someone who feels the same as me on different days or in different situations.
This book started off as a letter, or shall I say replies, to the little notes in the jar my friend gifted me to cheer me up during my hard times.
If somebody asked me “who” inspired me, I would have no clear answer for that. Rather, “what” inspired me to publish or even write this book unexpectedly would be the jar given to me.
I was asked a lot of times “what made you realise” or “did your feelings or mind change for good after this book?”
Practically, it’s not a fairy tale. People expected an answer, like “I’m feeling better” or something along the lines of “I have got my mind, feelings, thoughts all sorted after all the mixed emotions.” To me, there is basically no clear one and only answer to that. It’s a different feeling, different day, different situation. How can we just stay the same or feel the same the whole time?
I still yet have to realise a lot, feel a lot, think a lot, and change a lot. Writing a book doesn’t mean I have it all sorted. I’m still learning. Sometimes I’m still a child learning how to walk on different life roads and paths. I’m still learning how to hold a pencil and trying to write my next-day chapter. I’m still learning how to eat by myself without spilling anything after all that spoon-feeding. By that, I meant how life offers us different sets of plates. Sometimes a full plate. Sometimes an empty plate. And how we have to eat it by ourselves since we came in this world alone, so we need to know how to live and survive alone. Without spilling anything on yourself. I’m still learning. I don’t have all things all sorted.
Yet I’m still the same. Yes, I will agree I am doing way better than how I was before. But those days do come back for a visit. There is no “happy endings” in practical life. There are but not all the time. There are happy endings in certain parts of your life chapters, where you are happy, but there is no ending to yours or my happiness. If life puts a comma on your happiness, take it to a new phrase.
Rather, it’s just “Life goes on and . . .?!”
Until the spring day comes a gain,
until the flowers bloom again . . .
—“Spring Day,” BTS
The morning will come a gain.
No darkness, no season can last for ever.
—“Spring Day,” BTS
Just like that, no feelings like happiness can last forever; neither does sadness.

Chapter 1

THE JAR AND THE MEETING
23 September 2020
9:28 p.m.
I don’t know what came in my mind, but I guess I’ll write about what I feel about you or something me sharing with you with these letters. I don’t know myself either. I’ve never done this before, not even for myself. I have no idea when we will meet again. It was fun and healing, and honestly, at some point, I felt pain, sadness, and numbness too.
Feeling of being lost and unheard, but I was relieved I wasn’t alone in this. I hope we both hold hands and reach our destination.
It might be a long journey, but us being together, it might not feel like a long road, might be less lonely, might be less painful. If it is painful, we will be there for each other. That’s what I hope for. I know good things don’t last, not even the people in each other’s lives. Like how someone you loved turned her back at you. How my friend too did the same.
I honestly feel empty. I don’t know what to do to fill this void or to cope up with this. It’s been several days . . . I guess weeks. I feel dead inside. I don’t know what to do to get rid of these feelings. It’s so scary. I feel like, at some point, I will die and not even realise it because the feeling of me being dead, I’m already going through it. But when I talk to you, even if it’s anything random, the feeling of being dead goes down by 1%.
The jar you gave me, it’s a jar of me having and experiencing all types of emotions.
The time I messaged you, thanking you for it, I was honestly crying. After all these several weeks, I felt a lot of feelings all at once.
Before, it was constant sadness, uncontrollable crying, feeling numb, resentment, anger, frustration, feeling lost, I still am, but after meeting you, I felt a lot of other things.
I felt happy, loved, appreciated, heard, supported, less lonely. And honestly, thank you for that.
Talking about the jar, I was honestly so touched you took time and decided to make something for me when I told you how I have been feeling lately.
That jar made me smile at first. It was so cute and pretty. You used my favourite colors!
And as I opened each and every single note inside it, it made me feel and realise a lot of things.
I don’t know how to express how that jar made me feel, but let’s give it a shot.
First, it made me feel so happy. I felt loved. You made it all by yourself, handmade. It made me realise how much I meant something to someone. Despite not having resources, you still tried your best to make something for me, to make me feel better, to make me happy.
Second, as I decided to open each and every note, I honestly didn’t want to open the jar ’cause I wasn’t really feeling gloomy at that time, so I didn’t want to ruin it for me later on in the future when I’m downhearted. But I eventually just went towards the jar. I had an emotionless smile, honestly. But as I opened each note, one by one, I realised . . .
I realised I had to open each note right at that time . . . to feel something. Anything but numbness. I’m glad I felt sadness again. Why?
Because I knew I was numb. I thought I would never feel anything again.
I felt euphoric, I cried happy tears. I was in seventh heaven, realising I can feel this thing called happiness. I was like a dog with two tails knowing someone like you is my friend, a part of my life. I was happy you existed. I felt happy.
I felt loved. Of course, you took time to make something for me.
I felt someone cared for me. I felt someone cared about my little features, my trivial likes, and my unheard voice was somehow heard, visible.
That someone is you.
I felt all mixed emotions all at once, it was too much to handle. A wave of emotion hitting all at once .
But I needed that. A huge wave of emotions washing over me. To make me realise I can feel. Feeling something. Happiness, sadness, thankfulness, love, epiphany, euphoria, care, fear.
Why fear? Well . . .
Fear of losing. Losing you as my friend. This comfortable and no-judging best-friend relationship. I’m scared ’cause I know good things don’t last longer. I know there will be a day when we will part ways or might stop talking. We might go back to being strangers. I don’t know. But I, as for now, don’t want to lose thi