Living with Your Heart Wide Open

Steve Flowers

Sujets

• Assertiveness

Informations

• Publié par: New Harbinger Publications
• Date de parution: 01 janvier 0001
• Nombre de lectures: 3
• EAN13: 9781608824465
• Langue: English

Extrait

“A bold new book that shows how engaging with mindful awareness and compassion can allow us to step out from behind conditional and limiting self-driven narratives and into a more openhearted embrace of our lives.”
—Zindel V. Segal, PhD, author of The Mindful Way Through Depression
“How we focus our attention can transform our lives and rewire our brains toward a healthier, more compassionate way of being. Living with Your Heart Wide Open is a practical, step-by-step guide that teaches us how to cultivate our awareness so that we can develop more resilient minds and enjoy lives of inner clarity and kindness. Freedom from the prison of a life on automatic pilot rests within these powerful and poetic pages.”
—Daniel J. Siegel, MD, author of Mindsight
“ Living with Your Heart Wide Open is both healing and awakening. By questioning and transforming the many false and negative ways we understand ourselves, we find the joy of liberation.”
—Jack Kornfield, PhD, author of The Wise Heart, A Path with Heart, and After the Ecstasy, the Laundry
“The way you talk to yourself, including that murmur in the back of your head, continually shapes your outlook, your mood, and the circuits in your brain. In a warm, down-to-earth, and wonderfully useful way, Living with Your Heart Wide Open shows you how to change that storyline for the better for greater confidence and happiness, resilience in the face of stress, and peace of mind.”
—Rick Hanson, PhD, author of Buddha’s Brain
“A bedside book for the heart. A daily reading in healing for the part of us we have put aside for later. A letting-go of our forgetfulness of how very beautiful we essentially are. A turning toward oneself with loving-kindness.”
—Stephen Levine, author of Healing into Life and Death, Who Dies?, and Meetings at the Edge
“It has been said that the teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of his or her wisdom, but rather leads you to the threshold of your own. If you want to access your inner wisdom, this is a book you want by your side. If you want to live in accord with your higher power, if you want to be inspired by your experience of life, you should know that this is a book filled with reliable and authentic support.”
—John Robbins, author The Food Revolution, The New Good Life, and Diet For a New America

Publisher’s Note
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.
Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books
Copyright © 2011 by Steve Flowers and Bob Stahl
New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
5674 Shattuck Avenue Oakland, CA 94609
www.newharbinger.com
Cover design by Amy Shoup
Text design by Michele Waters-Kermes
Acquired by Jess O’Brien
Edited by Jasmine Star
All Rights Reserved
___________
epub ISBN: 9781608824465
Library of Congress has catalogued the print edition as:
Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data on file
Flowers, Steve.
Living with your heart wide open : how mindfulness and compassion can free you from unworthiness, loneliness, and shame / Steve Flowers and Bob Stahl ; foreword by Tara Brach.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-1-57224-935-6 (pbk.) -- ISBN 978-1-57224-936-3 (pdf e-book)
1. Attitude (Psychology) 2. Self-perception. 3. Self-confidence. I. Stahl, Bob. II. Title.
BF327.F56 2011
158.1--dc22
2011012534
William Stafford excerpt from “You Reading This, Be Ready” from THE WAY IT IS: NEW AND SELECTED POEMS. Copyright © 1998 by the Estate of William Stafford. Reprinted with the permission of Graywolf Press, Minneapolis, Minnesota, www.graywolfpress.org.
“No Measuring Up” from THE COMPLETE TASSAJARA COOKBOOK by Edward Espe Brown, copyright © 2009. Published by arrangement with Shambhala Publications, Inc., Boston. www.Shambhala.com.
Excerpt from “Childhood Friends” by Rumi from THE ESSENTIAL RUMI, translated by Coleman Barks. Copyright © 1995 by Coleman Barks, used with permission.
“The Guest House” by Rumi from THE ILLUMINATED RUMI, translated by Coleman Barks. Copyright © 1997 by Coleman Barks, used with permission.
“A pearl goes up for auction…” by Rumi from RUMI: THE BIG RED BOOK, translated by Coleman Barks. Copyright © 2010 by Coleman Barks, used with permission.
“How did the rose ever open its heart…” from the Penguin publication THE GIFT, POEMS BY HAFIZ, copyright © 1999 Daniel Ladinsky and used with his permission.
“Today, like every other day, we wake up empty…” by Rumi from THE ILLUMINATED RUMI, translated by Coleman Barks. Copyright © 1997 by Coleman Barks, used with permission.
“Love has befriended Hafiz so completely…” from the Penguin publication THE GIFT, POEMS BY HAFIZ, copyright © 1999 Daniel Ladinsky and used with his permission.
“Escape”, from THE COMPLETE POEMS OF D. H. LAWRENCE by D. H. Lawrence, edited by V. de Sola Pinto & F. W. Roberts, copyright © 1964, 1971 by Angelo Ravagli and C. M. Weekley, Executors of the Estate of Frieda Lawrence Ravagli. Used by permission of Viking Penguin, a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
To all who choose to live with their hearts wide open even as they face fear and pain.
Contents
Foreword vii
Acknowledgments ix
Introduction
1 The Fiction of Me
2 Choosing How You Look at Things
3 Creating a Mindfulness Practice
4 Looking Behind the Curtain of Self
5 Opening to Self-Compassion
6 Opening to Loving-Kindness
7 Becoming Real
8 Awakening to Wisdom and Compassion
Resources
References
Foreword
The greatest truths are too often forgotten. This book calls us back to one that is central to our happiness: If we cannot embrace our own frightened and vulnerable hearts, we cannot love our world.
Sadly, we are often at war with ourselves. More times than I can recount, people have shared with me the pain of their core beliefs. “Something is basically wrong with me,” they tell me. “I don’t feel worthy of love.” One woman captured her pain in a way that really struck me: “I am a disgrace,” she said with a mix of disgust and sorrow.
That word, “disgrace”—out of the flow of grace—speaks to the soul suffering of feeling inadequate, ashamed, or isolated. When we have turned on ourselves in harsh judgment and dislike, we lose access to our own natural intelligence, and we are cut off from our innate tenderness and openness. All that we long for—intimacy with others, peace of mind, feeling fully alive—is out of reach.
Living with Your Heart Wide Open offers a time-honored yet vibrant pathway for healing this core suffering of self-aversion. Steve Flowers and Bob Stahl are both dedicated, longtime practitioners of meditation and talented, wise mindfulness teachers. With great clarity and compassion, they introduce the principles and practices of mindfulness meditation in a way that is inviting and accessible. Their stories show us that deep emotional healing is possible, and their exercises and meditations allow us to engage directly in inner transformation. For anyone who is committed to opening beyond the trance of unworthiness, this book will be a valued friend and guide. May these teachings help you reenter the flow of grace and realize the freedom of your awakened heart.
—Tara Brach, Ph.D., author of Radical Acceptance
Acknowledgments
Endless acknowledgments to my kind and caring parents, Marilyn and Alvan Stahl, who have consistently embodied living to the fullest with such deep love. I want to honor my grandparents, Nettie and Ben, and Ida and Samuel, who seeded so much love into our families. Many thanks also to my brother, Barry, and sister, Kim, and their families for their loving support. Words cannot express my profound gratitude to my beloved wife, Jan, and our sons Ben and Bodhi. They keep me humble and honest, and show me the importance of family and love. Deep bows to my dharma teachers, Taungpulu Sayadaw, Hlaing Tet Sayadaw, Pakokhu Sayadaw, and Rina Sircar. I would not be on this mindful path without them.
I want to acknowledge my dear friend, beautiful wild man extraordinaire Steve Flowers, who is my coauthor in this collaboration. I am in awe of his of magnificent heart and sharp intellect.
Lastly, I want to thank all of my students, as well as my dearest dharma friends, who bring out the best in me: Mary Grace Orr, Dan Landry, Jill and Bruce Hyman, Marcy Reynolds, Jason Murphy, Skip Regan, Tom Williams, Karen Zelin, Bruce Eisendorf, Melissa Blacker, Florence Meleo-Meyer, Elisha Goldstein, Richard Shankman, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Saki Santorelli, and Vesarajja.
—Bob
This book contains the wisdom, compassion, and loving-kindness of many teachers, foremost of whom is my best friend and loving wife, Mary, whose love and generosity of spirit has transformed my life. You will find much of her wisdom and compassion in these pages. In this same spirit, I wish to acknowledge and honor my two sons, Todd and Terry, as well as my sister Kim, who have taught me the value of good faith, the power of love, and how to remain steadfast in the storms of life.
I am grateful to my clients, students, and the participants of the Mindful Living Programs retreats for the many stories of courage, redemption, and reconciliation that fill these pages. I particularly wish to extend my appreciation to Andrea Redamonte, Anne Anderson, Lorraine Van Elswyk, Rob Moore, Carrie Leontis, Kate Bartholomew, April Grossberger, and Diana Fratas for showing me how to embrace the truth of our lives and face fate with courage and self-compassion. You have taught me the power and resilience of the human spirit and how to live with an open heart no matter what life throws at you.
I extend my heartfelt gratitude to my dear friend and dharma brother Bob Stahl for his friendship and love