The Devil in Me

R. A. Boswell

Description

A companion for those broken souls who are struggling at coping with addiction, family trauma, abuse, loss, pain, and depression. This is the poetry of pain and a message of hope.
Throughout my life, I’ve felt things differently than most. I learned early on that I did not think the way that other children thought. I was an outsider and an introvert. Writing has always been a way for me to cope with things that have happened in my life: Addiction, pain, loss, abuse, depression, heartache, etc.… I was not able to talk to anyone about it. I just couldn’t speak it. So I wrote it down. It became a means of expression for me. I wrote and wrote, all the while confronting the pain and sadness in me. These are the demons that came out in the process. These are the
things that I struggle with. These are the things I hide. These are the conversations that I’ve had with myself on the way to healing.
This is letting go…

Sujets

• Growth
• Healing
• Depression
• Soul
• Devil
• Poetry
• Hurt
• Anger
• Sadness
• Love
• Change
• Suicide
• Pain
• Musique soul

Informations

• Publié par: iUniverse
• Date de parution: 17 octobre 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781663244765
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

THE DEVIL IN ME
R. A. BOSWELL


THE DEVIL IN ME
 
 
Copyright © 2022 R. A. Boswell.
 
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
 
 
 
 
 
iUniverse
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www.iuniverse.com
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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
ISBN: 978-1-6632-4475-8 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-6632-4476-5 (e)
 
 
 
 
iUniverse rev. date: 09/29/2022
CONTENTS
Introduction
 
Where It All Bleeds Out
Hereditary
Abstract Apologies
The Truth of The Lie
Son
Aftermath
Trauma
Passages
Dancing on the Tombstones
A Pill for Everything
Tracks
Dreaming in Slow Motion
Illusion of Love
In a Haze of Gunfire
Last Chance
Fixation
Coming Clean
Hangman’s Noose
The Cycle
Jewel
Closure
Heart in Flames
The End

Dedicated to Annie Sue Taylor, the strongest woman that I have ever known and the one that made this possible.
INTRODUCTION
My intention was never writing to be published. This is something I started in my early teenage years as a means of coping. As a young adult, I wrote as a way of working through pain, family trauma, addiction, depression, loneliness, and abuse. I never thought anyone would ever read this. I have always had severe social anxiety. This is how I made it through the darkest times in my life … with a pen and paper. The more I wrote, the more I was forced to confront these demons and all the madness that was inside me. I was forced to make sense of the suffering and give it a name. There is no ego in this, only the truth of what I have lived through. None of this was easy. No emotion was kind. But I learned that these scars are and always will be part of me as lessons along the way to healing.
The pain can define you—if you allow. It can turn you into someone you never meant to be. But there is also a choice to learn from the pain and use it as a tool for self-growth. You must let yourself feel. You will never be able heal from the pain if you keep yourself numb to it. Believe me, I’ve tried. I thought the pain would never end. But once I allowed myself to feel the hurt in its most basic form, I was able to start taking steps toward healing. Do not run from these emotions. Embrace them and allow them to do what they were meant to do.
If you read these words and are suffering through severe depression, thoughts of suicide, addiction, a manic mind, or just feel as though you are all alone, and no one cares, know that I have suffered this as well. I have felt completely lost, empty, and alone for much of my life. I know what you feel. It seems hopeless when you are in the spiral, but I implore you to just keep moving forward. Do not give up. Do not let depression tell you that life is not worth living. Pain is an articulate liar and will spin its web of lies around you before you realize what has happened.